High School Musical Funny Quotes to Tell Your Friend You Hate Them

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Gabrilla Montez: [about singing previously] Well, you sound like you've done a lot of singing, too.

Troy Bolton: Yeah, my showerhead is very impressed with me.

Gabrilla Montez: Do you remember in kindergarten how you'd meet a kid and know nothing about them, then 10 seconds later you're playing like you're best friends, because you didn't have to be anything but yourself?

Troy Bolton: Yeah.

Gabrilla Montez: Singing with you felt like that.

Ms. Darbus: That'll be 15 minutes for you as well, Mr. Danforth. Count 'em!

Taylor: That might be difficult for Chad, since he probably can't count that high.

Troy Bolton: Whoa, don't tell me you're good at hoops too.

Gabrilla Montez: You know, I once scored 41 points on a league game.

Troy Bolton: [looks at her, astonished] No way.

Gabrilla Montez: Mmhmm. Yeah, and on the same day I invented the space shuttle and microwave popcorn.

Troy Bolton: [grins wildly as he realizes she tricked him] Ah, microwave popcorn. Haha, very funny.

Sharpay: We need to save our show from people who don't know the difference between a Tony Award and Tony Hawk.

Chad: [Gabriella has spilled her lunch on Sharpay. Troy tries to run over and help Gabriella, but Chad holds him back] No. You do *not* want to get into that, man. Too much drama.

Chad: Look, you're a hoops dude. Not a musical singer person. Have you ever seen Michael Crawford on a cereal box?

Troy Bolton: Who's Michael Crawford?

Chad: Exactly my point. He was the "Phantom of the Opera" on Broadway. Now my mom, she's seen that musical 27 times and she put Michael Crawford's picture in our refrigerator. Not on it. IN it. So my point is, if you play basketball, you'll end up on the cereal box. If you sing in musicals, you'll end up in my mom's refrigerator.

Troy Bolton: Why would she put his picture in your refrigerator?

Chad: I don't know, one of her crazy diet ideas. Look, I don't attempt to understand the female mind, Troy.

Chad: [Miss Fallstaff, the librarian, appears] It's frightening territory.

[Troy sits down at a table and takes out a pencil and a piece of paper]

Chad: How can you expect the rest of us to be focused on a game when you're off somewhere in leotards singing 'Twinkle Town'...

Troy Bolton: [cutting off Chad] No one said *anything* about leotards.

Chad: Not yet my friend, but just you wait.

Troy Bolton: [Gives Chad a really weirded out look]

Chad: [Miss Fallstaff appears] I tried to tell him, Miss Falstaff. I really did.

Troy Bolton: [Looks like he's thinking]

Troy Bolton: Sharpay's kinda cute too.

Chad: Yeah, so is a mountain lion, but you don't pet it.

Chad: [Looks at the three watches he has on his wrist] Okay, so, my watch is 7:45 Mountain Standard Time. Are we synced?

Taylor: Whatever.

Chad: All right. Then we're on a go mode for lunch period. Exactly 12:05.

Taylor: Yes, Chad. We're a go.

[Waves her hand in front of his face]

Taylor: But we're not Charlie's Angels, okay?

Chad: I can dream, can't I?

Gabrilla Montez: [music starts playing for "Breaking Free"] I can't do this, Troy. Not with everyone staring at me...

Troy Bolton: Hey, hey, hey. Look at me- right at me. Like the first time together, remember...

[Gabriella nods]

Troy Bolton: Like kindergarten.

Sharpay Evans: [fake smiling to the crowd] I told you not to do the jazz square.

Ryan Evans: [fake smiling too] It's a crowd favorite, everyone loves a good jazz square.

Ryan: Mucho Gusto.

Sharpay: Ay, que fabulosa! Ay! Ay! Ay!

Ryan: Arriba!

Sharpay: Quien es bailar?

Ryan: Mirame

Sharpay: [singing] I believe in dreaming, shooting for the stars.

Ryan: [singing] Baby, to be number one you've got to raise the bar.

Sharpay: [singing] Kickin' and a scratchin', grindin' out my best.

Ryan: [singing] Anything it takes to climb the ladder of success.

Ms. Darbus: Holidays are over, people. Way pver. Now, any more comments, questions?

[Jason raises hand]

Ms. Darbus: Jason.

Jason: So, how were your holidays, Ms. Darbus?

[Everyone groans]

[last lines]

Sharpay: [running in the gym door] These cookies are genius. The best things I've ever tasted. Will you make some more for me, Zeke?

[runs up to Zeke and hugs him]

Zeke: I might even make you a creme brulee.

Sharpay: Ooh.

Jack Bolton: Where's my team, Darbus?

[notices Troy and Chad in a tree on stage]

Jack Bolton: What the heck are those two doing in a tree?

Ms. Darbus: It's called crime and punishment, Bolton. Beside, proximity to the arts is cleansing for the soul.

Jack Bolton: Can we have a talk? Please?

Jack Bolton: [to Troy and Chad] And you two, in the gym... now.

Martha Cox: Hip hop is my passion. I love to pop, and lock, and jam, and break.

Brainiac #1: Is that even legal?

Brainiacs: Not another peep.

Martha Cox: It's just dancing. Sometimes I think it's cooler than homework.

Jack Bolton: [in denial about the fact Troy wants to sing] You're the playmaker... not a singer... right?

Troy Bolton: Did you ever think that maybe I could be both?

[drops basketball and leaves, passing his surprised father and friends]

Troy Bolton: [Unaware that he's being watched by Gabriella] You're my guys and this is our team. Gabriella is not important. I'll forget about her. I'll forget the audition and we'll go out and get that champion for the team. Everybody happy now?

Taylor: Behold lunkhead basketball man.

Troy Bolton: Callbacks the same day as the game?

Gabrilla Montez: And the scholastic decathlon!

Taylor: Why would they do this?

Chad: I smell a rat named Darbus...

Kelsi: Actually, I think it's two rats, neither of them named Darbus.

Chad: Do you know something about this... small person?

Kelsi: [sighs] Miss Darbus might think she's protecting the show, but Ryan and Sharpay are pretty much only concerned with protecting *themselves*.

Chad: Do you know what I'm gonna do to those two overmoussed showdogs?

Troy Bolton: Nothing. We're not gonna do anything to them. Except sing... maybe. All right. Now this is only going to happen; if we all work together... Now who's in?

[Everyone joins hands]

Sharpay: [singing in response to everyone singing Stick to the Status Quo] EVERYBODY QUIET!/ This is not what I want/ This is not what I planned/ And I just gotta say/ I do not understand!/ Some thing is really...

Ryan: [butting in] ... something's not right

Sharpay: [Gives Ryan an evil look] ... really wrong!

Ms. Darbus: [She is denying Troy and Gabriella the chance to perform their song, as she called their names twice and they didn't respond. She sees everyone from the basketball game and scholastic decathlon filing into the theater to watch them sing] I... don't know what's going on here, but in any event, it is far too late, and we have not got a pianist.

Ryan Evans: [Smugly] Well, that's show biz.

Troy Bolton: We'll sing without a piano.

Kelsi: [Runs back onstage] Oh no you won't. Pianist here, Ms. Darbus.

Sharpay Evans: You *really* don't want to do that.

Kelsi: [Steps up to Sharpay] Oh yes, I *really* do.

[Runs back to the piano]

Kelsi: Ready on stage!

Sharpay Evans: [Shocked] Oh!

Ms. Darbus: [Impressed] Now *that's* show biz!

Gabrilla Montez: In my other schools, I was the freaky math girl. It's cool coming here and being... whoever I wanna be. So, you wanna do the callbacks?

Troy Bolton: Hey, just call me freaky callback boy!

Troy Bolton: [faking excitement after the Scholastic Decathalon reveals their 'surprise' for the basketball team] Oh... an equation.

Alan: It's hard to believe that I couldn't sneeze, er see, See that you were always there right next to beside me

Ms. Darbus: Alan I admire your spunk... As to your singing, that's a wonderful tie you're wearing. Next!

Alan: [Alan smiles awkwardly and leaves]

Troy Bolton: Hey! How how you doing?

[Gabriella ignores him]

Troy Bolton: Well, listen, there's something I want to talk to you about.

Gabrilla Montez: [interrupts Troy] and here it is. I know what it's like to carry a load with your friends. I get it. You've got your boys, Troy. It's okay. So we're good.

Troy Bolton: [looking confused] Good about what? I was gonna talk to you about the final callbacks.

Gabrilla Montez: I don't wanna do the callbacks either. I mean who are we trying to kid? You've got your team and now I've got mine. I'll do the scholastic decathlon and you win the championships. It's where we belong.

[pulling something out of her locker]

Gabrilla Montez: Go Wildcats.

Troy Bolton: [still confused] But I...

Gabrilla Montez: [cuts him off] Me neither.

[walks away]

Troy Bolton: [even more confused than before] Gabriella?

Ryan: Wow, an Einsteinette. So why do you think she is interested in our musical?

Sharpay: I'm not sure that she is... But we needn't concern ourselves with amateurs. But... there is no harm in making certain that Gabriella is welcome to school activities that are... well, appropriate for her. After all... she loves pi.

Ms. Darbus: All right, Bolton. Cards on the table right now.

Jack Bolton: Huh?

Ms. Darbus: You're tweaked because I put your stars in detention and now you're getting even?

Jack Bolton: What're you talking about. Darbus?

Ms. Darbus: Your all-star son showed up at my audition. Now, I give every student an even chance, which is a long and honorable tradition in the theater, something that you wouldn't understand, but if he is planning some sort of a practical joke in my chapel of the arts...

Jack Bolton: Troy doesn't even sing.

Ms. Darbus: Oh, well, you're wrong about that, but I will not allow my 'Twinkle Town Musicale' to be made into farce.

Jack Bolton: Twinkle Town?

Ms. Darbus: See, I knew it. I knew it.

Jack Bolton: [Ms. Darbus walks away] Sounds like a winner. Good luck on Broadway.

Taylor: The answer is yes!

Gabrilla Montez: Huh?

Taylor: Our Scholastic Decathlon team has its first competition next week and there is certainly a spot for you!

Gabrilla Montez: Where did those come from?

Taylor: Didn't you put them in my locker?

Gabrilla Montez: Of course not...

Taylor: Well, we'd love to have you on the team! We meet almost everyday after school. Please?

Gabrilla Montez: I need to catch up on the curriculum here first before I think about joining any clubs.

Sharpay: [walking over] Well, what a perfect way to get caught up. Meeting with the smartest kids in school! What a generous offer, Taylor!

Ryan: [singing] It's hard to believe that I couldn't see.

Ryan,Sharpay: [singing] You were always there beside me. / Thought I was alone with no one to hold / But you were always right beside me.

Sharpay: [singing] This feeling's like no other.

Ryan: [singing] I want you to know.

Ryan,Sharpay: [singing] I never had someone that knows me like you do / The way you do. / I never had someone as good for me as you / No one like you. / So lonely before I finally found what I'm looking for.

Gabrilla Montez: [singing] I thought you were my fairy tale / A dream when I'm not sleeping / A wish upon a star that's coming true.

The Basketball team: From our team to yours.

[Spelled out on their T-shirts]

The Basketball team: G-O-D-R-A-M-A-C-L-U-B

Troy Bolton: Exclamation point.

Ms. Darbus: Well, looks like us Wildcats are in for an interesting afternoon.

Ryan: [Trying to read the shirts] Go, go-go dray, go drame?

[Sharpay scoffs and walks away]

Ryan: Drame?

Troy Bolton: What's up?

Chad: What's up? Oh let's see, um, you miss free period workout yesterday to audition for some heinous musical, and now suddenly people are confessing. Yeah, Zeke, Zeke is baking. Crème brûlée.

Troy Bolton: Oh. What's that?

Zeke: Oh, it's a creamy custard-like filling with a caramelized surface, it's really satisfying.

Troy Bolton: Oh, cool.

Zeke: Shut *up*, Zeke!

Troy Bolton: So dude, you know that school musical thing? Umm, is it true you get extra credit just for auditioning?

Chad: Who cares?

Troy Bolton: You know it's always good to get extra credit, for... college.

Chad: Do you ever think Lebron James or Shaquille O'Neil auditioned for their school musical?

Troy Bolton: Maybe?

Troy Bolton: [after Gabriella takes the ball and starts walking around with it] That's travelling. No, that's really bad travelling.

Troy Bolton: [singing] I gotta get my, get my head in the game.

The Basketball team: [singing] You gotta get'cha, get'cha, get'cha, get'cha head in the game.

Gabrilla Montez: [to Taylor] I heard what he had to say. I'm on your team now, done.

Gabrilla Montez: How well do you know Troy Bolton?

Taylor: Troy? Well, I don't consider myself an expert on that particular sub-species. But, unless you know how to speak cheerleader, as in...

[walks up to a group of cheerleaders]

Taylor: "Ohmygosh, isn't Troy Bolton just the hottie superbomb?"

[cheerleaders swoon over Troy]

Taylor: See what I mean?

Gabrilla Montez: [laughs] I guess I don't know how to speak cheerleader!

Taylor: Which is why we exist in an alternate universe from Troy the basketball boy.

Ms. Darbus: [after a spoken duet] That was... very disturbing! Go see a counselor!

Gabrilla Montez: Did you ever feel like there was a whole other person inside you just looking for a way to come out?

Taylor: No. Not really.

[repeated line]

Chad: WHAT TEAM?

The Basketball team: WILDCATS.

Chad: WHAT TEAM?

The Basketball team: WILDCATS.

Chad: WHAT TEAM?

The Basketball team: WILDCATS.

Chad: WILDCATS?

The Basketball team: GETCHA' HEAD IN THE GAME.

Sharpay: Well congratulations, I guess I'm going to be the understudy in case you can't make one of the shows, so break a leg.

[Gabriella looks very confused]

Sharpay: In theatre, that means "good luck."

[smiles and walks away]

Troy Bolton: I'll call you, I'll call you tomorrow.

Gabrilla Montez: Yeah.

Troy Bolton: Here put your number in. Here.

[He takes her picture]

Gabrilla Montez: You too.

Troy Bolton: There you go. Well, just, so you know singing with you was the most fun I've had on this entire vacation. So, uh, where do you live?

[He realizes that she has already left]

Troy Bolton: [looks at her picture, then says her name to himself] Gabriella.

Troy Bolton: Okay, now we will only be able to do this if we all work together.

Sharpay: We gotta do something. Okay, our callbacks are on Thursday, and the basketball game and scholastic decathelon are on Friday...

Sharpay: Too bad all of these events weren't happening on the same day, at the same time.

Ryan Evans: Well... that wouldn't work out because then Troy and Gabriella wouldn't be able to make the...

[Sharpay looks at him with a "Yeah?" face]

Ryan Evans: I'm proud to call you my sister.

Sharpay: [laughs] I know.

Chad: So, you're coming with me to the after-party, right?

Taylor: As in, like, a date?

Chad: Must be your lucky day.

Troy Bolton: Dad, did you ever think about trying something new, but were afraid of what your friends might think?

Jack Bolton: What, you mean like going left? You're doing great!

Taylor: [the basketball team walks past cheering. To her brainy friends] Ugh, behold the zoo animals heralding in the new year. How tribal.

Chad: Look, that music in those shows isn't hip-hop, okay, or rock, or anything essential to culture. It's all show music. It's all costumes and makeup... oh, dude, it's frightening.

Troy Bolton: Yeah, I know. I just thought it would be a good laugh.

Gabrilla Montez: [after Sharpay asks if Gabriella and Troy were going to sign up for the musical] Oh no, no, no, I was just looking at all the bulletin boards. Lots going on at this school. Wow.

[Sharpay gives her a look]

Gabrilla Montez: Nice penmanship.

Chad: Hey, the whole team's htting the gym for free period, what do you want us to run?

Troy Bolton: I can't - I, uh, have to catch up on, uh, homework.

Chad: What? It's only the second day back, even I'm not even behind on homework yet. And I've been behind on homework since preschool.

Troy Bolton: [laugh] That's hilarious. I'll catch you later?

Chad: What spell has this elevated IQ temptress girl cast that suddenly makes you wanna be in a musical?

Troy Bolton: Look, I just did it. Who cares?

Chad: Who cares? How about your most loyal best friend?

Troy Bolton: Should I go for it? I better shake this. Yikes.

Zeke: Hey Sharpay. I just thought that since Troy Bolton was going to be in your show, I...

Sharpay: Troy Bolton is not in my show.

Zeke: Okay, um, well I just thought maybe, um, you could watch me play ball sometime or something.

Sharpay: [laughs] I'd rather stick pins in my eyes.

Zeke: Well, wouldn't that be awfully uncomfortable?

Sharpay: Evaporate, tall person!

Chad: [after "Stick to the Status Quo" is sung] People are starting to do other stuff. Okay, stuff that's not their stuff.

Troy Bolton: Dad, detention was my fault. Not hers.

Jack Bolton: You haven't missed a practice in three years. That girl shows up...

Troy Bolton: [interrupts] That girl is named Gabriella. And she's very nice.

Jack Bolton: Well, helping you miss practice doesn't make her very nice. Not in my book, or your team's.

Troy Bolton: And you're not gonna hear me sing, guys, 'cause Gabriella won't even talk to me. And I don't know why.

Chad: Um, we do.

Zeke: [taking something out of his lunch bag] Here, I baked this fresh this morning. You might want to try some before you hear the rest.

Chad: [interrupting Troy and Gabriella's kiss] The team voted you the winning ball.

[shoves it in Troy's arms]

Troy Bolton: Thanks, thanks a lot man.

Gabrilla Montez: Well, I guess I better go find my Mom and wish her a "Happy New Year."

Troy Bolton: Right, me too. Not your mom, my mom... and dad.

[finishes signing up for auditions]

[turns head]

Sharpay: Oh. Were you going to sign up, too? My brother and I have starred in all the school productions, and we really welcome new-comers. There are a lot of supporting roles in this show, I'm sure we could find something for you.

Troy Bolton: [laughs] Now that's impossible.

Sharpay: [coming out from behind the sign up sheet] What's impossible, Troy? I wouldn't think "impossible" was even in your vocabulary.

Kelsi: Oh, actually, if you do the part with that particular song, I imagined it much slow...

Sharpay: *If* we do the part?

[laughs]

Sharpay: Kelsi, my sawed-off Sondheim, I've been in seventeen school productions. And how many times have your compositions been slipped in?

Kelsi: This would be the first.

Sharpay: Which tells us what?

Kelsi: That I need to write you more solos?

Sharpay: No. It tells us that you do not offer direction, suggestion, or commentary. And you should be thankful that me and Ryan are here to lift your music out of its current obscurity. Are we clear?

Kelsi: Yes ma'am. I mean, Sharpay.

Sharpay: Nice talking to you.

Troy Bolton: I thought you were my friends! Win together, lose together, teammates.

Chad: But suddenly the girl and the singing.

Ms. Darbus: What is going on here?

Sharpay: Look at this! That Gabriella girl just dumped her lunch on me! On purpose! It's all part of their plan to ruin our musical. And Troy and his basketball robots are obviously behind it! Why do you think they auditioned? After all the work you've put into this show...

[throws Gabriella a hate-filled look]

Sharpay: ... it just doesn't seem right!

M.C.: Hey, you know what? Someday you guys might thank me for this. Or Not.

Sharpay: When's the big game?

Troy Bolton: Uh, two weeks.

Sharpay: You are so dedicated, just like me. I hope you come watch me in the musical. Promise? Toodles.

Troy Bolton: Toodles.

Zeke: [after Sharpay walks through the hall] I guess the ice princess has come back from the North Pole.

Chad: She probably spent the holidays the way she always does.

Jason: How's that?

Chad: Shopping for mirrors.

Jason: Ooooh.

Sharpay: [pacing after callbacks announced] How dare she sign up. I've already picked out the colors for my dressing room.

Ryan: Besides, she hasn't even asked our permission to join the drama club.

Sharpay: [slams hands down on table] Someone's gotta tell her the rules.

Ryan: Exactly.

[long pause]

Ryan: ... And what're the rules?

Sharpay: [rolls eyes and walks off]

Ryan: [Sees that they have callbacks agains Troy and Gabriella] Maybe we're being Punk'd!

Sharpay: What?

Ryan: Maybe we're being filmed right now. Maybe we'll get to meet Ashton!

Sharpay: Oh, shut up, Ryan!

Troy Bolton: [singing] Coach said to fake right and break left / Watch out for the pick and keep an eye on defense / Gotta run the give and go and take the ball to the hole / And don't be afraid to shoot the outside "J" / Just keep your head in the game / Just keep ya head in the game.

Troy Bolton: Hey! How's it going? So anyways

[Troy starts talking and we are unable to hear what he's saying]

Jason: Dream? Do you remember the night before?

Troy Bolton: No, all I remember is like pink jelly.

Gabrilla Montez: [to Troy] You're a cool guy, Troy. But not for the reasons your friends think.

Ms. Darbus: [to Chad] Mr. Danforth! This is a place of learning, not a hockey arena.

Principal Matsui: [after trying to explain to Ms. Darbus and Coach Bolton that he's impartial] So Coach, how's the team? Is Troy whipping them into shape?

Ms. Darbus: Ugh!

[Storms off]

Jack Bolton: [notices that Chad and Troy are not at practice] Where's Troy and Chad?

[no answer]

Jack Bolton: Don't make me ask again.

Jack Bolton: [yelling] Where's Troy and Chad?

The Basketball team: Detention.

Ms. Darbus: This school is about more than just young men in baggy shorts flinging balls for touchdowns.

Jack Bolton: Baskets. Uh, they shoot baskets.

Ms. Darbus: And while we are working, let us probe the mounting evils of cell phones... perhaps the most heinous example of cell phone use is ringing in the theatre. The theatre is a chapel of arts, a precious cornucopia of creative energy.

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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0475293/quotes/qt0944562

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